This will be a SIDEBAR in the book
Possible experiences at the Marker of Manifestation
(your experience?)
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A friend shared this story with me. He was a pastor who had a moral failure in his personal life and had to leave the ministry. He and his family went through a deeply difficult valley of repentance and shame. His wife stayed by his side, and his young children weathered the transition from respected ministry to uncertainty. The family very nearly lost their home. They were shunned by many friends and former church members. My friend did not have a marketable skill, but his wife got a job as a school teacher. They were barely able to make it through. After many months he was invited to teach a Bible study, which after two years led to his being invited to serve as the pastor of a small congregation.
While all of this was going on, my friend came back to the foot of the cross in deep repentance. He listened to recorded sermons, sometimes four or five in a day, while he watched the children at home. He said that the temptation to return to his former sin diminished as he filled his soul with the truth of God’s Word. He realized that his broken soul was being healed by the grace of God.
The Word of God comes to us in deeper meaning as we go through these cycles of death, burial, and resurrection. In reading through the gospels, my friend was struck by the fact that when Jesus appeared to His disciples after His resurrection that His body was changed. Jesus could appear in a room when the doors were shut. Yet even in His post-resurrection body, Jesus still had the scars of crucifixion. When Jesus appeared to Thomas, who said he needed physical proof if he was to believe in the resurrection, He said, “Reach your fingers here, and look at My hands; and reach your hand here, and put it into My side. Do not be unbelieving, but believing†(John 20:27).
My friend illustrates a vital truth about our resurrection-like experiences. As we manifest the risen Christ, our scars authenticate our witness. They prove that we are not propounding theory, but are speaking out of our own stories. The scars show that we are genuine people who have gone to Golgotha and sacrificed. We have grappled with the will of God and surrendered. We have failed, denied, and doubted. But God has been faithful. The wounds of Jesus’ cross have healed our failings. His grace has replaced our shame with honor. When people see our scars, they gain hope that God can also accept them with all of their faults. Resurrection does not happen to the strong. It raises those who were dead and buried. Our story of struggle is the hopeful news that earns a hearing from genuine seekers.
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Using our own story (from 2001), I’m continuing to illustrate practical ways resurrection can show up out of difficult circumstances. (see previous post here)
Lyn’s recovery from cancer’s invasion was a picture of the greater deliverance from hopelessness. In other words, the physical healing she received was emblematic of the soul healing which God longs to grant everyone. There were, of course, many praises lifted up to God for Lyn’s recovery. Together we went on and served in active ministry with newfound appreciation.
Ever since that cancer battle, we have treasured each day as a gift from God. No longer could we assume another day to live. Gratitude spread to all areas of our life. We appreciated our parents, siblings and children more. We valued the added years to serve our Lord. And the risen Christ became more obvious in the writings of the Bible. I began to see the implications of His gospel work on virtually every page of scripture. I began weaving this theme into opportunities I was given to teach. I’m afraid I have probably worn out my family and friends repeating this theme!
Our resurrection-like experience on earth has brought our future resurrection nearer. Our taste of life out of death has strengthened our faith that God will one day raise us to eternal life. So I would say that our saga with leukemia changed us in significant ways. We were less confident in our ability to control our own health and circumstance. In society today there exists great emphasis on eating and living healthily. This is wise, but all the supplements and regimens in the world do not put you in charge of your own longevity.
The corollary to this is that we grew more dependent on God if He chose to bring us into, and out from, difficult gospel cycles. It did not seem logical for God to strike our family with cancer after 18 years of service in pastoring and missions. But we concluded that God is not required to fit within our logical categories. So I would conclude that one of the manifestations of the risen Christ in our story has been increased faith. Others have observed this, and taken courage from it. We are glad that in some small way the kingdom of Jesus was expanded through our journey.
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I have told our infertility story as far as our dilemma of financial and emotional brokenness. After graduating from seminary, my wife and I returned to our home state to get a fresh start on waiting on God for both a ministry assignment and clarity on whether or not to adopt. Out of our desperation, Jesus manifested Himself in our lives in ways we could not have anticipated.
My father, who was a pastor in a city four hours away from where we were living, did something that at first embarrassed us but later encouraged us. He wrote to all the gynecologists in his city explaining that he had a son who, with his wife, greatly longed to have a child but were not able to do so. If any such doctor should hear of a young mother who did not want to get an abortion, but could not keep the baby, please (wrote my father) consider my son and his wife as adoptive parents. I was amazed when my dad told us what he had done, but doubly amazed when he heard from one doctor in his town who had the exact situation described! In a few months time we drove to that city and held in our arms a beautiful baby girl.
And there was a deeper sense in which the risen Christ displayed Himself in us. You see, resurrection is not always evident in circumstances. There was a form of resurrection that happened in our hearts. Occasionally, as we waited for the day of birth of the daughter we were to adopt, someone would ask in insensitive question such as, “After you adopt, if you have ‘one of your own,’ will you give the adopted baby back?†We could hardly believe our ears at this kind of naiveté. But here is my point. Through the adoption process, we came to see adoption as a wondrous privilege and joy on par with having a child biologically (which we later did). Through adopting, we got a glimpse into the Father’s heart by realizing that love can fully embrace a child placed in our family. Our daughter became our own, just as we become the possession of God the Father. This is a miracle of the living Christ within us. “And because you are sons, God has sent forth the Spirit of His Son into your hearts, crying out, ‘Abba, Father’†(Gal. 4:6)!
Do you have an adoption story?
In college I faced a Gethsemane crisis of my will to be a prosperous architect with God’s will that I fully embrace the Lordship of Christ over my life and career. Through months of struggle, I yielded to God and sacrificed my ambitions – my personal Golgotha (or one of them at least). As I recounted previously, I changed my career path and attended seminary, along with my new wife. My experience during those years was spiritually dry as the Bible became, for me (not by my professor’s intentions) a text book more than a life source. I had the opportunity to abide deeply in Christ, but in all honestly, I failed to dwell contentedly with the Lord during those years.
So how has the risen Christ been manifested in my life as an outflow of my surrender and sacrifice? In a phrase, I have never been the same. I have become someone very unlike the successful professional I had planned to be. My values have little to do with visible success or material possessions. I have had the privilege of serving as a pastor to hundreds of dear people. I have conveyed to them the love of their Savior, and have received love from dozens of families in return.
Not only that, I have, along with my wife and two daughters, been privileged to live and minister overseas in Africa for a decade. That has been a defining experience for each one of us. We have been loved and esteemed by Africans far beyond what we earned. Only eternity will reveal the lives we have been privileged to touch.
But even more deeply, we have been transformed by the living power of Christ in us. We are living for a higher purpose, and experience regularly the fulfillment of staying surrendered to the will of God, staying sacrificial at the foot of the cross, and abiding intimately in Jesus. I can honestly say that because of this major gospel cycle lasting over 40 years, God has graciously put Jesus on display in our family. We have had many difficulties and made many mistakes. We have been fearful and sometimes doubting. We have often been confused and weak. But all these experiences have been indispensable to our following Jesus at each of the points along the way.
How has Jesus manifested Himself in you through a difficult experience?
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